The Blog Blahs

Well my husband says I have the "blog blahs". I don't know. I just don't have much to say. Or is it that I don't want to say or write what is going on in this head of mine. Whatever it is...it is blah, blah, blah! So what have I been doing for the past 5 days or so you might ask. Well, I don't know. I have been to KC and back for work. Had to deal with being on my feet all day for 2 days, lots of lifting and my back still hurts. The rest of my days have been oh, normal I guess. Whatever that is. Just not much to write about. So the events of the days haven't been all that interesting so I guess I must go deeper into this brain of mine and discover what is going on in there. The words trying, hard, painful, having to die to myself, are all coming up as I think about some of the feelings I have had in the past few days. Even feeling deprived to some level. Not really pleasant things to talk about. I would much rather talk about how wonderful I am, but that really isn't the case this week. hmmm...wonder why I am having all of these random thoughts. Well I am on week 2 of no food and these darn shakes are not tasting so yummy any more. The newness is wearing off and the same old same old is setting in. I used to find so much of the pleasure in my life from food and now, well now there is no pleasure at all. I guess that is why I'm feeling deprived these days. And well there is the constant call of food everywhere I look. On the TV, around the corner at the office, on the billboards, and in my own refrigerator. Why does food call my name...Julie, Julie, come eat me. It won't hurt, just a little taste. Does food talk to you? I know, silly question. But it does to me. I have started turning my head or flipping the channel when a commercial comes on, because you know at least half of them are going to be about the latest burger at McDonalds or something. And even though I really don't like McDonalds, oh that looks SO GOOD!!! I know, have I lost my mind, trying to do this weight "program". Some days I think maybe I have. But when I really think about it, I know it is best. I know it is what I have to do right now. I know it is helping me break free, start a new direction in my life and make some major life changes. So why does it have to be so darn hard? I guess that question will have to go with all the others I will have to wait and ask Jesus someday. So for me for now, this is the way of life. So I am trying to deal and make the best of it. Tonight I had beef broth with some chili powder in it for a little snack. Now there's some spice for you! At least it wasn't another shake or another bowl of sugar free jello. I guess I am going to have to get creative cause this shake thing is about to send me over the edge. Any suggestions for spicing up a shake without adding calories or carbs??? I didn't think so. So for today, I will drink up and pretend it is a bowl of spaghetti or a basket of chips and salsa. A shake that tasted like chips and salsa, now that would be an invention! One positive note of the day, a person at work that I don't even know that well asked if I was losing weight. I was floored! Is it already noticable? Not to me, but something had to have made her ask that question. I proudly answered, thank you, yes I have lost some weight and hope to lose lot more! Well, hopefully the blog blahs have ended. My husband tried to explain that there are no rules in blogging and that I don't have to have everything perfect, just write what comes to mind. So that's what I have done here friends. Just written what was on my mind tonight. Forgive me if it seems like rambling because it probably is. It is good to know....I don't have to be perfect! Thanks honey for helping me to remember that tonight.