One thing is for sure in life, things are going to CHANGE!! I finally I can really see it happening in me. For starters...I have lost 30 pounds in the past 7 weeks! Hip Hip Hooray!! Physical transformation is happening to my body and that is GOOD! I am finally beginning to see it in myself. It is amazing that I have lost the equivelent of 3 - 10 pound sacks of potatoes off of my body, yet when I look in the mirror it is still hard for me to see. I am moving forward though, BELIEVING this is only the beginning and the transormation has ONLY JUST BEGUN!
Along with the physical tranformation, a transformation of my heart has been taking place as well. A friend told me that what I would be going through would be like a "spa for my heart" and oh how I do believe that now! You know how when you get a massage it can almost hurt in a way, but the pain produces relaxation and rejuvination of the muscles and a therapy to help the muscles in a way, and in the process it feels really good too! Well that is the kind of transformation of the heart that I feel like I have been experiencing. Some hard stuff, but all in all producing some really good things in me. Lasting changes I pray, that will be noticable not only to me but hopefully in my relationships, my work, my family and how I interact with others. This heart thing is kind of hard to describe, but I will say that my I becoming much more aware of who I truly am and who I was created to be. For a long time I have not seen myself as worthy or acceptable, not measuring up to those around me, including to my friends and family. You would think that especially with those that are closest to me I would feel loved and accepted. And even though that was true, I was and I am loved and accepted for who I am, I didn't FEEL that way. I didn't see myself that way. When it came to looking at myself I think I almost had a fog over my eyes, clouding the truth of who I really am. I am SO THANKFUL that the Lord has lifted the fog and the sun is shining in with the TRUTH that I am HIS, I am LOVED, I am ACCEPTED, I am WORTHY, I am BEAUTIFUL. I am seeing with "New Eyes"! It's like I can finally look at myself from a different perspective, not one clouded by the enemy who has been distorting the truth for far too long!
I have been talking for a long time in my job about how people living in nursing homes should be treated with dignity and respect and that they are of value and worth, yet I was looking at myself from an entirely different perspective.
So change IS GOOD! I have sometimes in the past feared change, but I am seeing now that some change really is needed and what is best. I am a work in progress and I desire to be changed for His Glory!
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